Being Vulnerable

It's 2017 and everyone has foregone the new year resolutions and instead opted for a "word of the year." I am ecstatic. I always feel like a failure two months in, when I haven't lost 10 pounds, or realize I cannot afford to travel to New Zealand, or my recent artwork wasn't published in xyz magazine. Choosing a word to encompass your goals doesn't seem nearly as set up for failure and I am all for it. As it turns out, choosing one word is more daunting than choosing your typical "goal." I want this word to inspire me, to stretch me, to bring me closer to God and those around me. Then comes a word that feels like being punched in the stomach. Vulnerable. I am not vulnerable. Assumingly just like you, I don't like being vulnerable. I like being strong, capable, savvy, pushing my bubbling emotions back down like a pro. But I knew the word was important. It was given to me, rather loudly. I thought of all the reasons the word was a bad idea; my past, my heartaches, my career. Over the next week, I begin getting little, nagging signs. The first is seeing the word beautifully, unexpectedly, written in calligraphy on my Instagram feed. The second is joining a Facebook group, which ends up being a wonderful platform to push entrepreneurs to tell their story. (Terrifying.) The third is stumbling on Brene' Brown's TEDtalk, "The Power of Vulnerability." I give up. If I don't open myself up to being vulnerable, my art and creative process will become stagnant. If I'm not vulnerable, how will I love deeply and receive love willingly? How will I praise the Lord with all my soul? How can I expect my paintings to move and inspire others? I came to the conclusion that I cannot. You cannot. We cannot do anything to the fullest without being vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to be our truest selves, in all its terrifying and beautiful ways. 

 

 

 Three things in one picture that clear my mind- journaling, sitting quietly with my dog, and nature in any form (today it's dried greenery lying around). 

Three things in one picture that clear my mind- journaling, sitting quietly with my dog, and nature in any form (today it's dried greenery lying around).